no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
