So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
