Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And then he peed in my hair
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