Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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