let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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