his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize