What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
why is half of my head shaved?
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