Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
