I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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