She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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