I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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