Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
