is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
