Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
