Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
