Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
