He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
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saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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