3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
