that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
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Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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