Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
