Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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