home. puking in laundry basket.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
