she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
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