last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
