After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
