I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
