i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize