The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
