Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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