You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
