Your dad touched me again.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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