I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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