chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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