well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
