I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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