I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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