i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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