I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
