I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bring me that man meat
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
