Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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