i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
