I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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