Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
