I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm eating all of the evidence.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't deserve a penis
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
