Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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