Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
