Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
