I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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