Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
