direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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