Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
