That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
