how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
