I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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