he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
