Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
