i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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