VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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