WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
