Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
