What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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